John Powell, A Professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy:
Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the first day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders. It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange . . . very strange.
Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father-God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.
When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone: "Do you think I'll ever find God?" I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically. "Oh," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing." I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out: "Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find him, but I am absolutely certain that he will find you!"
He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line: "He will find you!" At least I thought it was clever.
Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report, I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted, and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. "Tommy, I've thought about you so often. I hear you are sick!" I blurted out. "Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."
"Can you talk about it, Tom?"
"Sure, what would you like to know?"
"What's it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"
"Well, it could be worse."
"Like what?"
"Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real 'biggies' in life."
I began to look through my mental file cabinet under "S" where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification God sends back into my life to educate me.) But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, " is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!) He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which surprised me. Then you said, 'But he will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time. (My "clever" line. He thought about that a lot!) But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, then I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.
Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care...about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. "I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.'
"So I began with the hardest one: my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him." 'Dad'". . "Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.
"Dad, I would like to talk with you."
"Well, talk."
"I mean... . It's really important." The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?"
"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that." Tom smiled at me and said with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him: "The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. And we talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me.
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years. I was only sorry about one thing: that I had waited so long. Here I was just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.
"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through.' 'C'mon, I'll give you three days ...three weeks.' Apparently God does things in his own way and at his own hour. "But the important thing is that he was there. He found me. You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for him."
"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.' Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell them. "
Ooh . . . I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."
" Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call." In a few days Tommy called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class.
Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined. Before he died, we talked one last time.
"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said. "I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you . . . tell the whole world for me?"
"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best." So, to all of you who have been kind enough to hear this simple statement about love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven:
"I told them, Tommy ... as best I could."
If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.
by John Powell
You don't have to repost but this for me just shows the love that we find in God and the joy he can bring to our lives even when we are surrounded by troubles. I hope this touches you in the way that it did me and can maybe even make you smile a little in this Christmas Season.
Ally
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
A Very important message
I found this on a blog from someone else and I have to admit that I am in total agreement with the context of the message. Things happen for a reason and God will have his day soon and we will all have to answer to him. I know where I stand and I hope each one of you do also.
Ally
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
My confession:I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.
That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu.
If people want a church, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said O K.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread<> like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.Are you laughing?Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards.
Honestly and respectfully,Ben Stein
Ally
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
My confession:I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.
That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu.
If people want a church, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said O K.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread<> like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.Are you laughing?Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards.
Honestly and respectfully,Ben Stein
Thursday, December 6, 2007
What a busy week!!!
I have a few brief moments and thought I would post my thoughts on our happenings while I wait for Makayla to come home. This week has been busier than I thought I would be but we are almost at the end.
Marissa and Makayla have both spent the night off this week with grandparents and I have spent a lot of time running them back and forth from house to house. Mariah got forgot, sorry it happens when there are 3 and they all go in different directions. She had parents weeks at dance this week and I forgot all about it until I went to pick her up and all of the parents were sitting in the room.
I have been doing a lot of job hunting this week but can't seem to get anything to mature into a job. I am definetly going to have to go back to school in January to get my master's so that I can get the job I want. Especially since I can't find anything to even settle on in the mean time.
Premier is even slow for me this month. I think if I could find a job and get out there and meet more people that even that would pick up. It is hard to get started and get the business off the ground. I have even went outside of my circle of friends but, everybody that I have asked to do a party will always come up with some excuse about how they don't have the time or someone else is having one that they know. I am not the type of person who works with a lot of pressure on people so I just take the excuse and go on.
Mariah has 2 Christmas plays next week so we will be busy with her next week. Her school play is on Monday and the church play is the following Sunday. She has her Christmas party at dance next Thursday. I am looking forward to her being out of school for the holidays and getting to spend some time with her and the other two getting to play with her.
Shannon and I are having a "date" night Friday, well somewhat we are taking Mariah. We are going to the Step of Faith Christmas Concert. I look forward to this event every year and can't wait for this years show. We need some time out of the house. Shannon is supposed to then leave on Saturday morning going to New York to visit a friend. He wanted me to go but it is not possible for me to go this weekend. He might wait until after the holidays. I hope he does so maybe I can go along.
Marissa and Makayla have both spent the night off this week with grandparents and I have spent a lot of time running them back and forth from house to house. Mariah got forgot, sorry it happens when there are 3 and they all go in different directions. She had parents weeks at dance this week and I forgot all about it until I went to pick her up and all of the parents were sitting in the room.
I have been doing a lot of job hunting this week but can't seem to get anything to mature into a job. I am definetly going to have to go back to school in January to get my master's so that I can get the job I want. Especially since I can't find anything to even settle on in the mean time.
Premier is even slow for me this month. I think if I could find a job and get out there and meet more people that even that would pick up. It is hard to get started and get the business off the ground. I have even went outside of my circle of friends but, everybody that I have asked to do a party will always come up with some excuse about how they don't have the time or someone else is having one that they know. I am not the type of person who works with a lot of pressure on people so I just take the excuse and go on.
Mariah has 2 Christmas plays next week so we will be busy with her next week. Her school play is on Monday and the church play is the following Sunday. She has her Christmas party at dance next Thursday. I am looking forward to her being out of school for the holidays and getting to spend some time with her and the other two getting to play with her.
Shannon and I are having a "date" night Friday, well somewhat we are taking Mariah. We are going to the Step of Faith Christmas Concert. I look forward to this event every year and can't wait for this years show. We need some time out of the house. Shannon is supposed to then leave on Saturday morning going to New York to visit a friend. He wanted me to go but it is not possible for me to go this weekend. He might wait until after the holidays. I hope he does so maybe I can go along.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Christmas is coming!!
Okay, so I'm a little early but I have really started to get in the spirit. I have purchased the majority of my gifts (minus the ones I am waiting for Shannon's help on), made my dinner menu, and put up all of my decorations. This is my favortie time of year and every year that I see my kids get into it more and more I am even more excited.
Marissa wakes up every morning asking me when Christmas is gonna be here. She sees all the toys advertised on TV and wants it all. I am proud of myself though because the one thing she wants Santa to bring her is the Click Start Computer by Leap Frog and it is exactly what I got for Santa to give her. She will tell you that Santa is gonna bring her a "pooter" for Christmas.
Makayla is still a little young to understand or so I thought. She went with me and my mom shopping on Black Friday (that is a tradition in my family) and we took her to see Santa at Greenbrier Mall. The line was extremely short or else I would have waited for Shannon to be with us and she was begging to go see him. She walked right up to him, he picked her up and she gave him the biggest, tightest hug and would not let go. You could hear everybody around just let out a "awhhhh" and she was soooo cute. She told him that she wanted babies for Christmas. Which is also the what she is getting, again good choice Ally!
Mariah is the least excited but I think this is because she realizes that it is still a little while before Santa comes. She is old enough I am waiting fo rher to start asking questions about the truth about Santa. So far we have steared clear for now and I am willing to let her hold on to her innocence for a little bit longer. As for what she wants, who knows??? She has asked for so many things and she tells everyone something different. She has asked for another snake (which is not gonna happen as the 1st 2 are not allowed at my house), she has asked for the High School Musical 2 movie, and she has also asked for a B-Bratz. Santa is gonna bring her a Gameboy as he did not know what to get.
I was a little skeptical of Christmas this year because as most of you might know our finances this year are rather tight. My only saving grace is that when we were doing well in the begining of the year, I saved $50 a week for a rainy day. I did use some when needed but I promised myself that I would have money for Christmas out of that fund also. God works his miracles in our lives everyday and I am grateful for it even more during this time of year.
Well, Shannon just called to say that he is coming home for an early lunch so I guess I better go find something to cook. I will update later on in the week as to what is going on. Next week will be busy so I will try to do 2 posts this week.
Marissa wakes up every morning asking me when Christmas is gonna be here. She sees all the toys advertised on TV and wants it all. I am proud of myself though because the one thing she wants Santa to bring her is the Click Start Computer by Leap Frog and it is exactly what I got for Santa to give her. She will tell you that Santa is gonna bring her a "pooter" for Christmas.
Makayla is still a little young to understand or so I thought. She went with me and my mom shopping on Black Friday (that is a tradition in my family) and we took her to see Santa at Greenbrier Mall. The line was extremely short or else I would have waited for Shannon to be with us and she was begging to go see him. She walked right up to him, he picked her up and she gave him the biggest, tightest hug and would not let go. You could hear everybody around just let out a "awhhhh" and she was soooo cute. She told him that she wanted babies for Christmas. Which is also the what she is getting, again good choice Ally!
Mariah is the least excited but I think this is because she realizes that it is still a little while before Santa comes. She is old enough I am waiting fo rher to start asking questions about the truth about Santa. So far we have steared clear for now and I am willing to let her hold on to her innocence for a little bit longer. As for what she wants, who knows??? She has asked for so many things and she tells everyone something different. She has asked for another snake (which is not gonna happen as the 1st 2 are not allowed at my house), she has asked for the High School Musical 2 movie, and she has also asked for a B-Bratz. Santa is gonna bring her a Gameboy as he did not know what to get.
I was a little skeptical of Christmas this year because as most of you might know our finances this year are rather tight. My only saving grace is that when we were doing well in the begining of the year, I saved $50 a week for a rainy day. I did use some when needed but I promised myself that I would have money for Christmas out of that fund also. God works his miracles in our lives everyday and I am grateful for it even more during this time of year.
Well, Shannon just called to say that he is coming home for an early lunch so I guess I better go find something to cook. I will update later on in the week as to what is going on. Next week will be busy so I will try to do 2 posts this week.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Job Hunting
Well I am trying to find a job but whoever imagined that it would be as hard as it has become. Maybe I am just tooooo picky but I am bound and determined to find a job that also allows me to spend the time with my kids that they need.
I have had several job interviews with good companies, Albemarle Boats and Blackwater, but they can not pay me enough to cover the cost of taxes, gas, and childcare. If I onlye had one child in daycae it would not be that bad but when you have to pay for two in daycare you are looking at about $12000 annually for childcare.
I am also looking for a job that is part-time so that I can finish my masters degree. I want to enroll in Strayer University and I will be able to get my MBA in one year taking 3 classes a quarter. My ultimate goal is to be a professor at a Community College or maybe if the right opportuinity appeared a university. I have even looked at teaching adjuct classes @ TCC just to find something that provides some money for us. The problem with this is that the distance of travel is questionable if it is beneficial for the amount of money.
I have tossed around the option of going back to work @ Albemarle School just because the childcare is relatively cheap. I enjoyed the job when I worked there previously but the pay is not all that good. Although when you look at the savings on childcare it might be worth the chance. I have talked to Mariah's dance teacher, who works there, and she said that there could be a good chance of getting my foot back in the door.
Sooooo, I guess that I am off to refine my resume one more time and write a letter of interest and send it to Albemarle School. Wish me luck on the job hunt and the schooling ahead!
PS I will be writing later after I get my thoughts together on some issues we are considering to leave the area. The job market is better in other areas. Keep us in your prayers for the decisions we have to make.
I have had several job interviews with good companies, Albemarle Boats and Blackwater, but they can not pay me enough to cover the cost of taxes, gas, and childcare. If I onlye had one child in daycae it would not be that bad but when you have to pay for two in daycare you are looking at about $12000 annually for childcare.
I am also looking for a job that is part-time so that I can finish my masters degree. I want to enroll in Strayer University and I will be able to get my MBA in one year taking 3 classes a quarter. My ultimate goal is to be a professor at a Community College or maybe if the right opportuinity appeared a university. I have even looked at teaching adjuct classes @ TCC just to find something that provides some money for us. The problem with this is that the distance of travel is questionable if it is beneficial for the amount of money.
I have tossed around the option of going back to work @ Albemarle School just because the childcare is relatively cheap. I enjoyed the job when I worked there previously but the pay is not all that good. Although when you look at the savings on childcare it might be worth the chance. I have talked to Mariah's dance teacher, who works there, and she said that there could be a good chance of getting my foot back in the door.
Sooooo, I guess that I am off to refine my resume one more time and write a letter of interest and send it to Albemarle School. Wish me luck on the job hunt and the schooling ahead!
PS I will be writing later after I get my thoughts together on some issues we are considering to leave the area. The job market is better in other areas. Keep us in your prayers for the decisions we have to make.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Let's get Started
I thought for a while about posting a blog but just could not find the time so I had to make it. My life at this point in time is crazy. I am a mom of three very active girls. I stay at home but am trying to find a job. This task has turned out to be much more difficult than I could have ever imagined.
My husband of almost 10 years is a great man but like every mrriage we have our ups and downs. Right now our marriage is just on a hillside and I'm not sure if we are headed up or down. Our life that is another story all together, it is most definetly in one of the lowest valleys we have ever had to face. The only strength I have to draw on is the grace that God provides for me and the faith I have that he has provided the best for me in life but it just hasn't materialzed yet.
I will keep in touch and continue to update my blog regularly. That will be my new years resolution, a little early, and it will be a difficult task as I am hoping to return to school in January to complete my masters in business administration.
My husband of almost 10 years is a great man but like every mrriage we have our ups and downs. Right now our marriage is just on a hillside and I'm not sure if we are headed up or down. Our life that is another story all together, it is most definetly in one of the lowest valleys we have ever had to face. The only strength I have to draw on is the grace that God provides for me and the faith I have that he has provided the best for me in life but it just hasn't materialzed yet.
I will keep in touch and continue to update my blog regularly. That will be my new years resolution, a little early, and it will be a difficult task as I am hoping to return to school in January to complete my masters in business administration.
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